Hi there!  Welcome to Give Yourself Grace Mama!

 

I am a wife and working mom of two little boys. I currently reside in The Netherlands and have been living here for a little over a decade. I was born in the USA but grew up on a small island in the Caribbean called St.Maarten/St. Martin.

This island is quite special because it is essentially two countries joined together on 34 km2. I grew up on the French side of the island which makes me bilingual.

I moved to the Netherlands to finish university and in the process met my awesome husband Chris. Funnily enough, we were both from St.Maarten but met in The Netherlands, fell in love, and have been inseparable ever since. He is truly my best friend.

It has been 12 years of adventures, near-death experiences (that's a story for later), and lots of laughs.

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We had our first son, Christian. He is a wonderful little boy, full of joy and laughter. He was born a month premature via emergency c-section, but once they placed him on my chest, I instantly fell in love and knew that I would move heaven and earth to keep him safe and make him feel loved. As he got older, I noticed that there was something different about him. 

Although he hugged me all the time and played with me, he never spoke, never really made eye contact, and didn't like playing with other kids. He had intense focus and was obsessed with letters, numbers, cars, and trains. I suspected that he might have been autistic but I was told that it was too early to tell and he was maybe just speech delayed and not social like most kids due to the pandemic. It wasn't until he started school that it was very clear that he was different. He didn't talk in class at all and didn't interact with any kids including his teachers. We decided to get an official diagnosis recently which confirmed what I already knew. My little boy is a high-functioning autistic. Although, for some, this diagnosis would be considered shocking or sad. I only saw him as my little boy, nothing else. His differences just made him all the more special to me and I knew that I would have to be his advocate and give him all the tools I could to make sure he grew up to be a strong, independent man.

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In the middle of finding out Christian's diagnosis, we had our second son, Elijah.

He is our little "squeaks". Mostly because he squeaks when he is excited.

He was born full-term via a planned c-section. He is curious and a ball of energy.

I can tell he will be a talker, he babbles constantly. I can't wait to see what his personality will be as he gets older. 

 

I never knew that I could love two little beings so intensely. They both give me such purpose and joy that is sometimes indescribable. 

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Although, my kids mean the world to me, motherhood has not come without its fair share of challenges.

Juggling working,  being a wife and a mom has been an uphill battle at times. 

I only want to be the best at everything I do, the best at my job, the best wife I can be, and the best mom to my boys, which leads me to be super critical of myself. 

If I work long days, I feel like I don't spend enough time with my kids. If I give all my energy to my boys, how can I be fully present for my husband? 

What about me? When do I get to relax and take a nap? 

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After talking to a few moms, I realized every mom feels inadequate in some way or another. We are so hard on ourselves.

That's why I created this blog, I wanted a place for moms to feel heard and seen but most importantly find a place where we can give each other and ourselves grace. 

I also wanted to share my story and give support to other working moms out there, by discussing various subjects such as living as an expat in the Netherlands, pregnancy, parenting issues, autism, mental health etc..

I believe that every mom has a unique story to tell. That's why I created a forum for moms to share their experiences and insights with our community.

I hope you feel at home here and feel free to join in the conversations and share your worries and thoughts without judgment.

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I want you to always remember to Give Yourself Grace Mama, because you are not alone and you are doing the best you can!

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