Becoming a mom is one of the most life-altering experiences anyone can go through. I remember preparing for the sleepless nights, endless diaper changes, and navigating the "terrible twos." But what no one told me was how my entire life—my body, my relationship, and even my mind—would change once I became a mom. Now, as a mother of two, I’ve realized there were a few things I wish someone had told me before this wild ride began. So, if you’re about to enter motherhood or already in the trenches, here are five things I wish someone had shared with me—and I hope they help you.
1. You Won’t Recognize Your Body, and That’s Okay
After you give birth, one of the first things you’ll notice is that your body feels different. And I’m not just talking about the baby weight. Stretch marks, cellulite, saggy skin, and suddenly your bra size has doubled. Let’s be honest, you might feel like you’ve been hit by a bus.
I wish someone had warned me how psychologically challenging this part would be. I wasn’t prepared for the emotional toll of not recognizing myself in the mirror. But here’s the thing: Your body is amazing.
It just grew and birthed a whole human, and even after that, it can sustain life. Your stretch marks? Those are warrior stripes. The extra weight? A part of the process. Don’t force yourself to “bounce back.” Honestly, your body will never be exactly the same—and that’s okay. Over time, you'll start to feel more like yourself again, and you’ll even begin to appreciate your post-baby body for what it’s done. Love yourself, girl. You earned it!
2. Communicate (Like, Really Communicate) With Your Partner About Childcare
I cannot stress this enough: Talk to your partner about childcare before the baby arrives. And by talk, I mean discuss everything. Who’s waking up at night? How long do you plan to stay home after birth? Do you want to go back to work or stay home with the baby? And for goodness' sake, talk about diaper duty.
Why? Because when the baby arrives, sleep deprivation, hormones, and the general chaos of newborn life can turn minor disagreements into full-blown arguments. Trust me, you don’t want to hash out who’s waking up at 3 AM when you’re both exhausted. Having a conversation before the baby comes can help you set expectations—while you're both well-rested and rational. And remember, even after the baby is born, check in with each other. Your feelings or needs might change. Stay open and flexible; the key is to be on the same page, even if the page evolves.
3. “Touched Out” Is a Real Thing
This one hit me out of nowhere: the feeling of being “touched out.” I didn’t even know it was a thing until I experienced it firsthand.
My oldest slept on my chest for the first three months of his life, I was breastfeeding, and there was so much skin-to-skin contact, I started feeling like my body wasn’t my own anymore. I’d be holding the baby all day, and by the time I put him down, the last thing I wanted was for my husband to touch me—even a hug felt overwhelming. It caused a lot of confusion in my marriage, especially since our love language is physical touch.
I wish someone had warned me about this. If you’re feeling “touched out” right now or you’re pregnant and this happens to you later, know that it’s okay. It’s normal to feel like your body is no longer your own after giving so much of yourself to a tiny human. It doesn’t mean you don’t love your partner. It just means you need a little time to adjust and regain a sense of personal space. And trust me, this too shall pass. Just make sure to communicate with your partner so they understand what’s going on and that it's nothing personal.
4. Prioritize Your Relationship, Even When It Feels Impossible
I get it. When you’re deep in the newborn haze, your relationship can feel like the least important thing. You’re sleep-deprived, emotional, and your baby’s needs take center stage. But here’s the thing: Your partner was there before the kids, and they’ll be there after the kids grow up and leave the nest.
It’s so easy to let your relationship take a backseat, but try not to let that happen. Even if it’s small moments like cuddling while the baby naps or setting aside time for a quick date night, those small acts of intimacy matter. Talk to each other. Check in about how you’re both feeling after the baby’s arrival.
Life is chaotic, but your relationship is the glue that will help keep everything together. Remember, your kids will grow up and build their own lives, but you and your partner are in this for the long haul. Don’t forget to nurture that connection.
5. You Are Enough
Here’s the truth no one really tells you: Motherhood is hard. You’re going to have days where you feel like you’re failing, where nothing goes right, and you question why you ever wanted to do this in the first place. But I’m here to tell you that you are enough.
No one has it all together, no matter what Instagram might say. You’re going to make mistakes—everyone does. There will be sleepless nights where you feel like you have nothing left to give, and that’s okay. Give yourself grace. You are learning on the job, and that is a huge feat.
Remember, you know your baby better than anyone else. You are the best mom for your little one. So even when it’s tough, and you feel like you’re not doing enough, just know that you are. Motherhood is a marathon, not a sprint. Take it one day at a time, and remind yourself that you are doing the best you can—and that is more than enough.
I hope these five things help you, whether you’re expecting your first child or already deep in the journey. Not all of this will apply to everyone, but at least now, you’ve got a heads-up.
Motherhood is a wild ride, and you’re going to do great. Give yourself—and your partner—some grace as you navigate this new chapter together.
You’ve got this, Mama!
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